2x5 Obsessions
by armybro8
Summary: Egoist. For the 2x5obsessions Livejournal challenge. Fics will vary in rating, genre, and length. Progress: complete.
1. Bittersweet Homecoming

"**Bittersweet Homecoming"**

**2x5obessions challenge entry – prompt: "Back Home".**

**Angsty. Past fic—Nowaki is in America.**

**A/N: Even though we are never given a set leave date, if Nowaki returns in late May, then I'm assuming he also left in late May. And if this fic is set in…mid-July, let's say, then that's about a month and a half after Nowaki left. In my mind, at least, at this point I think Hiroki just thinks either Nowaki left him or died. **

**X X X**

Over the years, Kasumi had gotten used to her son coming around less and less often. During his early college years he had come home every once in a while, mostly on long weekends or school holidays; but since he'd gotten out of college that number had dwindled down to only a handful of visits a year. At first she had found it a tad irritating, but it wasn't long until she had come to a conclusion—Hiroki had a lover. Now she no longer had as much of a problem with him visiting less; however, she _did_ have a problem with him not introducing them properly. But she was patient.

Typically, Hiroki would call to make arrangements for when he was going to visit next. So when he showed up one day out of the blue, it concerned her a little.

When she saw him walking up the driveway, Kasumi scurried out the front door to greet him on the porch. "Hiroki?" she called. "What are you doing here?"

Hiroki's hands were stuffed inside his jean pockets and his shoulders were hunched over. He didn't even lift his head to speak. "What? I can't come to visit my parents?" Kasumi noticed that his voice sounded off—fragmented, broken.

"No, no, no, Hiroki; you know you're always welcome. I just wasn't expecting you! Your father is at work…" Kasumi placed one arm around Hiroki's back as she led her son inside. Hiroki had jumped when she first touched him, but she didn't think anything of it. But now she swore she could feel him full on shivering, even though it was a warm summer day.

Kasumi didn't like this; something was wrong. She always enjoyed having her son over to visit, but not when it originated with him in pain.

After discarding his shoes in the entryway, Hiroki went into the kitchen while Kasumi prepared some green tea. "So, any specific reason you came today?" Kasumi asked, subtly trying to get Hiroki to tell her what was wrong.

Hiroki finally looked up to answer. "No, not really…" It was the first time Hiroki looked her in the eye, and Kasumi was absolutely taken aback by what she saw. Hiroki's complexion had always been fair and light with a soft, air-brushed-like pink glow; but now, his face was so ashen it may as well have been transparent. Kasumi would have asked if he had been sick recently, if it hadn't been for the look in Hiroki's eyes. Nothing could have prepared her for how dead they looked, like all the life had just been sucked right out of those russet brown orbs; leaving a hallow shell of what once was. Something was _definitely_ wrong…

Just a few months ago, Hiroki had looked like an entirely different person. He was bright as always despite his prickly personality, and there was always that…_shine_ in his eyes. A shine that _someone_ had put there…

Kasumi wasn't dull. She knew the difference—the look in someone's eyes when they were in love, the change in the tone of their voice, even if they weren't around their lover—and she also knew very well that Hiroki had taken on that "transformation" quite a long time ago.

With the glow gone now, her son looked absolutely lost. Hiroki was just staring at his hands, picking his nails; and Kasumi could feel her heart breaking.

After removing the tea from the stove she walked over to the table and knelt down beside him, placing a hand over Hiroki's. "Hiroki…you know that you can tell your mother anything, right?"

Hiroki looked confused for a moment (the first expression Kasumi had seen cross his face since he had gotten there), then nodded. "Yeah…" he muttered, but said nothing else.

Kasumi licked her dry lips and tried again. "Is…is there anything you'd like to tell me?" She inquired, a little hesitant about asking him about it so directly.

"Um…" Hiroki paused for a moment, appearing to actually give the question some thought, before continuing, "Ah…that's right…I got a job as an assistant professor."

"Oh, Hiroki!" She embraced him. "That's wonderful!"

Despite his mother's enthusiasum, Hiroki's voice remained neutral. "Yeah…I start near the end of August. It's still summer break."

"Of course…oh, I'm so happy for you! My son, a professor!" She squeezed him tighter.

"Hmm…" Hiroki's gaze drifted to the far wall, and he started at it thoughtfully. He seemed so…detached and senseless. Kasumi couldn't stand it.

"Hiro-chan…" she pulled back a little to get a better look at him. "…are you sure you're alright?" Her voice was gentle, as if were balancing fine china.

Hiroki stiffened up quickly and feigned emotion. "What are you talking about? I'm fine!" Seeing Hiroki put on a fake smile was ten times worse than watching him sit there in misery. But, Hiroki was strong-willed and never wanted to tell anyone his problems or ask for help...

Kasumi sighed and patted his back. "Alright, Hiroki." Reluctantly, she stood up and tried to focus on pouring tea for the two of them.

Inside of her, this innate, motherly instinct was stirring; but the forlorn despair that Hiroki was causing made it impossible to act on. She knew very well that, if he couldn't help her…unfortunately, he couldn't help him.

So she was forced to wait. And while she waited, she prayed; _I don't know what my son did to deserve this, but, whoever you are, I hope you can look past that. Please, come back to him from wherever you are; give Hiroki a second chance, and allow him to live again._

**END**

**X X X**

**In every fic that Hiroki's mother is mentioned in, I'm going to refer back to my fic **_**Family Matters**_**, where I (only personally) dubbed her Kasumi. (I say this mostly because, in another part of this challenge, I plan to tell the story out of Kasumi's POV again. [but this time it's a nice, happy fic.])**

***Not an A/N, but…Writer's Note? ***

**This is a multi-fandom challenge, meaning there are two different fandoms I have to write for. I've chosen Death Note as my other fandom, **_**however**_**, I'm not sure if I'm going to follow through with it or not. I've scribbled down ideas as far as the prompts are concerned, but…I've never written DN before, and it makes me feel a little out of my element. Mostly because, while I originally intended for the fics to be LxLight, when I jotted down my ideas, it came out in the canon story line. (probably because my brain doesn't sit well with writing OOC) And while I'm entirely alright with writing in canon without romance, as I was stalking the DN page, it looked like almost every story had romance in it; canon or au. So it makes me nervous that no one would read the fic (the fact that the fics already posted up had like, NO reviews, didn't really help) simply because it doesn't have smut/romance in it. (PERVS! ****and yes, I'm being a hypocrite.)**

**^sorry for boring you to death…**


	2. The Lost Doesn't Always Need to be Found

"**The Lost Doesn't Always Need to be Found"**

**2x5obsessions challenge entry—prompt: "Faded Paper"**

**Short, fluffy? fic. **

_**Italics**_** primarily indicates thoughts.**

**X X X**

It was just starting to get late, and Hiroki figured he should probably at least have something for dinner; even if it was just cold, leftover fish from dinner a couple days ago. When Nowaki wouldn't be home for dinner Hiroki often skipped it, but he generally felt awful the next morning—better to be safe than sorry.

Hiroki opened up his desk drawer in search of a red pen—he had just run through his third this year; won't those kids ever learn!—and in the very, very back, buried underneath mounds of old bills and papers, he found an old postcard. Curious, he fished it out without losing it, but when he finally pulled it into full view he regretted not losing it in the stacks of paper.

The postcard was all too familiar; the glossy photograph on the front was the New York City skyline on a cool, rainy night; Nowaki's stiff kanji was scrawled across the back; a large red AIRMAIL stamp was also absentmindedly pressed onto the back underneath Hiroki's name, and the card was wrinkled and creased from when Hiroki had crumbled it up. Hiroki bit down on his lip as tears crept into the corners of his eyes, but he quickly whisked them away. What the hell was he getting all worked up over, anyway? This thing was ancient; it didn't matter anymore!

He placed the letter on the desk, smoothing it out like he had nearly two years prior when he had first received it. He rested his chin on his fists as he re-read the back, sighing with discontent. It was stupid, really; how this letter still made him feel anxious. Nowaki was back now and they loved each other more than ever—why does it bother him so much?

As if on cue, the door clicked open and Nowaki's voice broke the silence of the apartment. "Hiro-san! I'm home!"

Hiroki sniffed and cleared his voice, hoping it wouldn't be shaky when he called out. "We-welcome home." Damn. "What are doing here so early? I thought you got off at midnight."

Nowaki walked in the door then, and Hiroki spun around in his office chair with his arms crossed. "They let me off early since I just worked a couple of twelve hour days in a row. I'm also off for the next two days."

"Oh? That's great; they never let you off on the weekends."

"Have you eaten?"

"I was about to have some leftover fish."

Nowaki nodded and crossed his arms. "You don't come in here often unless you're searching for a book—what were you doing in here?"

"Ahh…grading papers. It was too hot in the living room so I came in here since it was cooler, and I just stayed here."

"But why are your eyes red?"

Hiroki's cheeks turned the lightest shade of pink. "I'm just tired; long day…let's go eat." With that, Hiroki stood up and began walking out of the room. He originally passed by Nowaki in the doorway, but at the last minute he stopped and turned around. Leaning up on his toes, he gave Nowaki a brief kiss on the lips. What was so bad about doing something nice for the one you love, anyway?

When he pulled away, Nowaki was smiling and looked like he was about to say something terribly romantic, but Hiroki cut him short. "Don't even say it—I know what you're thinking." _If I'm going to be nice, I may as well do it right…_ "I love you, too."

Nowaki beamed, and Hiroki quickly ran to the kitchen in a failed attempt to escape Nowaki's embrace. But when Nowaki started maneuvering them towards the bedroom, Hiroki successfully escaped from underneath him to the kitchen. It wasn't that he was particularly hungry—but if they were both off for the next two days then he would need his energy, especially since they haven't had a night together in a couple days and Nowaki's libido never seemed to wear out.

**END**

**X X X**

**Sorry it's been a while. Recently I've rekindled my love for Pokemon, and have been very busy. Not to mention I've been busy with school. But just three more days, and I'll have loads of free time to write. So, HOPEFULLY, my posts will be more consistent. :)**

**My fics are un-beta'd, due to the fact that my beta reader pretty much ditched me. Sooo, if anyone's interested, message me or leave a review. Since I use MS Word spelling's never the problem, but sometimes I will accidentally type the wrong word (like "the" rather than "their" or something simple like that), so I just need someone to check over that, or occasionally my sentance structure. **

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN JUNJO ROMANTICA. ALL CHARACTERS BELONG TO SHUNGIKU NAKAMURA. I merely borrow them without consent for my own dirty fantasies.**


	3. The Secret Base

"**The Secret Base"**

**2x5obsessions challenge entry—prompt: "Through Leaves of Green".**

**Fluffy. Present fic.**

**A/N: I didn't want to waste time typing up a long, drawn-out set-up, so here it is in a couple sentences: Hiroki and Nowaki go up to visit Hiroki's parents for the long weekend; parents still think they're just good friends/roommates. Hiroki decides to take Nowaki out to visit his old hide-out. Woo. Wasn't that easier than reading four hundred boring words about just that?**

**Thanks to Reficular for the awesome beta!**

**X X X**

"Nowaki, this way!" called Hiroki through the thick foliage, making Nowaki quickly change his path of travel, so that he was following Hiroki. For the past few minutes he had been wandering aimlessly through the forest, hoping that he was going in the correct direction.

Following Hiroki's voice, Nowaki effortlessly pushed back a couple of thin branches that had sprouted a blossom of white and yellow flowers and finally found Hiroki again.

"Where are you taking me, Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked for the third time since they began their trek: only to receive the exact same answer.

"You'll see."

They hiked a couple more yards, before coming to a stop in front of a huddle of thick green undergrowth. It towered over Nowaki, and was so dense that the only way they knew something existed on the other side, were the tiny pricks of bright white light that shone through.

Just as Nowaki was about to ask where they were again, Hiroki turned and cut him short. "When I was little, I used to come here whenever I was stressed out and I didn't want to deal with my parents or anyone else. I called it my 'secret base'. I just wanted to show it to you."

The corners of Nowaki's mouth curled up into a pleased smile as Hiroki motioned for him to follow. Twigs snapped and leaves crumbled beneath their feet as they climbed through the thicket together; eventually remerging in a blinding tunnel of blue and green and white radiance. Nowaki used a hand to shade his eyes from the brilliant sunlight, and tried to make out his surroundings: Hiro-san's 'secret base'.

The 'base' was very simple: basically just a grassy clearing with about a twenty-foot radius surrounded by a thicket and greenery and raspberry bushes. A bouquet of flowers bloomed on the north side of the dell, where the sunlight mostly hit. Occasionally a peacock pansy or red helen would flutter by and rest atop one of the bright fuchsia fireweeds, flapping its wings once, twice, before taking flight again.

One floated towards them. Nowaki extended his finger tentatively, offering the black butterfly, which was no bigger than the size of his palm, a runway to land on. The insect bluntly passed up the offer, though, by smoothly gliding past them and turning towards the treetops, effectively directing their attention to the expansive tunnel of light heavenward.

Above, the forest half-shaded them with a canopy of large, paper-thin leaves, and sunlight poured in through the other half. The branches created a frame for the sky, which sometimes featured a bird or plane flying past a scarce cloud, but the intense blue sky, saturated by harsh sunlight, dominated the picture.

"Hiro-san…" Nowaki began, and he let the sentence hang for a moment. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah," Hiroki agreed. The light was beginning to give him a headache, so he sat down on the itchy grass and looked around his old childhood hide-out. Memories suddenly floated to the surface like a dead fish—meeting Akihiko for the first time, hanging out with him, Hiroki's first kiss. Thankfully, before any worse ones could re-emerge, Nowaki asked him a question.

"Have you ever shown this place to anyone else?"

Hiroki didn't even have to think about it as Nowaki sat down next to him. "No," he said; and he wasn't lying, either, because technically he never "showed" this place to Akihiko—the bastard had stumbled upon it on his own accord.

Nowaki smiled and sat down next to him. "So just me?"

Hiroki turned his head. "Yeah, just you."

That made Nowaki so ridiculously pleased, he wasn't sure how to express himself. He reached out and placed his hand over Hiroki's and gave it a gentle squeeze, figuring that was his safest bet. At first he wondered if Hiroki even noticed, but then his lover leaned over and rested his head on Nowaki's shoulder. Nowaki glowed.

"Hey…umm…" Hiroki spoke very softly. "I've been thinking about it, and, umm…I've decided, when we get back to their house, to tell them."

Nowaki nearly stopped breathing. "Really?"

"Yeah…" Hiroki's voice had gradually gotten louder. "I figure it's unfair to keep them in the dark like that. And my mom's constantly bothering me about a girlfriend…it's getting annoying. She's even trying to set me up on dates with her friends' daughters."

"Hmm…" Nowaki wasn't sure what to say to that. "When do you want to go back?"

"Later…" Hiroki leaned back slowly and closed his eyes. "…I just wanna lay here for a while…I'm cold."

Nowaki leaned back into the grass with a smile and allowed Hiroki to crawl into his arms. "You know, Hiro-san," Nowaki began when Hiroki had already nestled his head on his shoulder, "I think your parents already know, despite your mother trying to set you up on dates."

"Yeah," he agreed. "I think they do too, and…that's why I don't have any doubts about them accepting us. That's why I decided to tell them."

Nowaki nodded and closed his eyes as well, dreaming about what would happen in the aftermath.

In the dream, Hiroki's mother is in mild shock, but only at first. The look in her eyes makes it obvious that she's known for some time. She scolds her son, briefly, for not telling her sooner—saying she would have been alright with it, she just wants him to be happy. Hiroki blushes and mumbles something Nowaki can't entirely make out, while his mother is over at the bookshelf trying to pull out an old, dusty photo album.

"Would you like to see some of Hiroki's baby pictures?" she asks, and Nowaki nods eagerly and quickly seats himself next to her on the couch. At this point Hiroki is as red as a tomato and begging for his mother to put that 'damn thing' away, but she pretends not to notice him.

"This is Hiroki when he was learning to walk," she sighs, finally glad she's able to show these pictures to Hiroki's lover. Nowaki is in absolute awe at how adorable his lover was as a child, but Hiroki isn't as happy about the pictures as Nowaki is.

"Put that damn thing away, it's embarrassing!"

Again, his mother ignores him and flips to another page. "And this is Hiroki at the park…" It's a continuous cycle of 'aww'ing and laughing, but Nowaki is as eager at the last page as he was at the very beginning.

He could hardly wait.

**END**

**X X X**


	4. Preordinance in its Truest Meaning

**"Preordinance in its Truest Meaning****"**

**2x5obsessions challenge entry—prompt: "Blackest Night".**

**A/N: Been working on this for about a year. Thought it was about time I finished it up, lol. Had to bump up my K+ rating, damn it…**

**I know in an update about a month ago, I said that I'd try to pump more fics out…but the end of the school year sucks because of standardized tests and exams coupled with the teachers trying to cram as much teaching as they can into the last 3 weeks of class. Plus I've been super busy with travel volleyball ending and high school volleyball beginning. If you guys only knew how badly I want to publish, like, 20 things! Just bear with me, yo! I'm hoping to pump updates out the wazoo when June rolls around, because I have no life in the summer outside of volleyball and vacation.**

**LOL AND, SORRY FOR MY INCOMPETENCE THE LAST COUPLE OF MONTHS. I blame ****AP English**** and sheer laziness…along with my short attention span and OCD about flawless writing. (Seriously, I must rewrite nearly every sentence in any given story several times. I'm not exaggerating.)**

**So after a **_**ridiculously long author's note**_** about **_**boring crap **_**that nobody **_**cares**_** about…try to enjoy this! **

**X X X**

It was dark. Rain came in blinding sheets, slamming against the windows without remorse. Cold tempered glass shook in its metal casing, and hallways echoed with silence. Books were thrown, making a loud _thud_ as they struck their target head-on and fluttered back to earth. Chilly hardwood floors stung whichever warm appendage decided to come into contact with it. The university campus was, thankfully, empty; lest someone barge into the library and disturb them.

Nowaki was staring at Hiroki in utter disbelief. His russet eyes streamed tears faster than the downpour outside.

"I-I'm sorry," Hiroki muttered, bringing a fist up to his face in an attempt to stop the dreaded flow. "I'm sorry; I'm such an idiot…"

"…Hiro-san…" Nowaki's eyes glazed over and his tear ducts prickled as he pulled a red-faced Hiroki into his arms. He felt gratified when the older man's fingers curled around the folds of his wet shirt to hold him in return.

As they sat there, stroking the other's sopping wet body, Hiroki felt the strange feeling of an epiphany welling up inside him, and he pulled back a little so he could look Nowaki in the face. A rush of emotions and memories from the past six years hit him like a freight train. All the arguments, the confusion, the loving; all of it made Hiroki's stomach churn as his brain came to the ultimate conclusion:

It had to be Nowaki. He was unable to even entertain the notion of it being anyone else _but_ him. _If…if it's not Nowaki…_

Suddenly, before Hiroki was able to finish his train of thought, Nowaki shifted so that Hiroki's knees were situated on either side of his warm lap. Long arms wound their way around the older man's waist, pulling him in closer. Hiroki's arms came up by reflex to drape themselves over Nowaki's shoulders while their lips naturally came together.

It wasn't but a second later that he felt Nowaki's hands leave his hips to push the damp, nearly transparent shirt off of Hiroki's shoulders, taking a couple buttons along with it. Hiroki's eyes shot open in response.

"Sorry," Nowaki half-mumbled against the side of his mouth, "but I really can't hold back right now." Hiroki squeezed his eyes shut as the younger man's warm, soft lips pressed against the cold skin of his neck.

Of their own accord, Hiroki's hands began to wander across the wide stretch of the younger man's broad back until it reached the bottom hem of his t-shirt. He tugged at the dark fabric until Nowaki got the hint and aided him in pulling the fabric off. Before Hiroki even had the chance to throw the shirt on the floor, Nowaki had stolen his lips once again.

As they kissed, Hiroki's mind began to drift. There was something almost surreal about the two of them being mostly naked in the university's library. Hiroki briefly wondered if it was all just a dream, but that idea was quickly shot down. Nowaki had never felt anywhere near this real in his dreams; soft, downy hair combined with baby-smooth skin and warm lips; a voice so tender it never failed to send a tremor up Hiroki's spine. Neither of them had been this desperate; feeling that if they were unable to kiss or touch each other for more than a few mere seconds, they'd go insane. There was never a long, drawn-out, heart-felt confession or the chance to see the other completely fall apart. Ironically, the reality of it all was the most unbelievable.

Hiroki was shaken from his reverie when Nowaki made the move to unzip his jeans, so Hiroki took that as his cue to scoot away and remove his. His shoes were discarded first, followed by still-damp slacks and briefs. He had almost forgotten about his socks when Nowaki reached out and tickled the bottom of his foot with long fingers. Hiroki giggled, and that caused Nowaki to make an awkward movement with his upper body as if to pounce on him.

Eyes narrowing, Hiroki smiled knowingly as he slowly removed his socks, moaning and giggling slightly as he drew the cool fabric over the sensitive arch. After removing the other one just as sensuously and throwing them in the general vicinity as the rest of the clothing, he got up on his knees and gradually made his way back over to Nowaki.

As he got closer, Hiroki really couldn't stop himself as he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Nowaki's neck. He bought their faces close together; the same time a suddenly-slick finger came around to prod at his backside.

Eyes widening, Hiroki's face burned with embarrassment as the saliva-coated finger slowly slid in. He unintentionally clenched at the intrusion.

"Relax," Nowaki cooed, gently combing his fingers through Hiroki's hair. Hiroki nodded, closing his eyes and pressing his face into the crook of Nowaki's neck as he willed himself to relax. It wasn't long before the tension yielded and Nowaki could resume what he was doing.

One digit quickly became two, and before long, Nowaki was using three incredibly long fingers to stretch Hiroki as best as he could. For lack of better things to do with his mouth, Hiroki shyly began to nibble on Nowaki's ear, occasionally snaking his tongue and trailing it up the younger man's neck. Every once in a while Hiroki slid a tentative hand down the younger man's sculptured chest to skate over his pert nipples and brush against his swollen manhood. It never stayed long—just enough to give him some stimulation and teasing. But when Nowaki consistently began hitting that _one spot_ that never ceased to make Hiroki throw his head back with a little groan of pleasure, he felt it was only fair to reciprocate somehow.

After pulling Nowaki's hand away from his backside, Hiroki began shuffling backwards on his knees. The increasing distance caused their lips to part and Nowaki blinked at him in confusion, his swollen lips still parted. Before he had the chance to question his lover about it, however, Hiroki was already bent over; mouth hovering over the younger man's leaking manhood. Short, warm puffs of breath tickled the lower part of Nowaki's belly as Hiroki leaned over his cock, the smaller man's dominant hand coming up to teasingly ring around the base of the organ. Figuring he'd lose his nerve if he thought about it for too long, Hiroki didn't waste any time as he gripped the shaft in both hands as he took the head into his mouth.

Nowaki grunted in approval as he was slowly taken into Hiroki's mouth, accidentally bucking his hips upward into the sweet, wet warmth that was swallowing his cock. Unsure of what to do with his hands, Nowaki settled with placing one behind his back to maintain balance as the other came to rest on top of Hiroki's head, subtly guiding his movements. He was left with nothing else to do but watch intently as stretched pink lips slid up and down the shaft; sometimes painfully slow, sometimes with blinding, orgasmic speed. Hiroki's tightly closed fist would pump up from the base of the erection to meet his mouth while his other hand rested on Nowaki's inner thigh to keep himself steady. Hiroki's tongue worked wonders on the underside his cock as it tried to leave as much moisture as possible, purposefully hitting the spots that he knew made Nowaki shiver with desire.

After a couple minutes of intense sucking, Hiroki pushed Nowaki's legs further apart so he could rest his elbows on the floor. The hand that had previously been stroking Nowaki's thigh slid in between the younger man's spread legs to cup his balls and gently knead them. Hiroki glanced up between thick lashes as Nowaki moaned, long and hard before a hand tightened in his hair and quickly pushed Hiroki's face away. A thin string of spit and pre-cum chased from his lips as he watched Nowaki twitch and pant, trying to fend off his orgasm for just a little while longer.

While he waited for Nowaki to cool off, Hiroki patiently took his hands and linked their fingers together; afraid to touch him anywhere else lest he set off a premature orgasm. A small smile touched Hiroki's lips as he calmly watched his lover's flushed face contort and relax sporadically with heavy breaths trailing from his thin, parted lips. Hiroki felt a strange sense of pride at the fact that _he_ was the one making Nowaki like this; panting and blushing, seconds away from coming completely undone. It was a novel feeling and Hiroki couldn't help the blush that graced his own cheeks at the thought.

It took Nowaki a couple minutes to regain his composure, but time was the furthest thing from Hiroki's mind as he brought one of their joined hands up to push the fringe of his lover's hair out of the way of his glassy blue eyes. Nowaki smiled one of those innocent, genuinely happy smiles that Hiroki really loved, and Hiroki decided he really couldn't wait anymore.

They released their hands, and Nowaki gripped the older man's hips as he brought him forward, watching Hiroki with darkened eyes. He kneaded Hiroki's bottom with his palms while his fingers pulled the muscle apart so Hiroki could better guide himself.

Meanwhile, Hiroki focused on keeping Nowaki's length still in his hands as he slowly eased it into his entrance. He bit down on his lower lip to stifle a pained grunt as the head breached him, and he spread his legs more to further impale himself on the barely-lubricated erection.

Nowaki's heart clenched as he watched tears form at the corners of Hiroki's eyes; who remained silent despite his obvious pain. The younger man brought one hand up and, as gently as physically possible, cupped the back of Hiroki's neck to draw their faces closer together so he could press sympathetic kisses to the brunet's eyelids.

"Shh," Nowaki whispered, softly stroking Hiroki's hip bone with the thumb of his other hand. "It's okay, baby. I know it hurts, just take your time."

Hiroki whimpered at Nowaki's gentle voice whispering in his ear, and he clawed at the younger man's back in response. In an attempt to distract Hiroki from the pain, Nowaki began kissing and licking his way up and down the older man's neck, biting down on the places he remembered were particularly sensitive. Hiroki's breath hitched every few seconds, and Nowaki could feel his inner muscles fluttering as they tried their best to relax around him.

As Hiroki worked to relax, he also thought about what had just occurred between them. Cracking his eyes open to gaze down at the top of Nowaki's head, he began to wonder if there was any sort of limit to their love. Because, no matter how much he hurt Nowaki, and no matter how much Nowaki hurt him, there was no possible way that he could ever bring himself to hate him. Actually, he found himself hoping that the wounds he inflected on Nowaki would leave a scar on his heart—much like a burn—that would irreversibly tie them together. Because then, Nowaki would _never_ be able to leave his side...

Nowaki pulled away from the hickey he was making on Hiroki's neck when the brunet suddenly relaxed around him. "You just relaxed, are you ready?"

Hiroki began to shift, hoping his actions would answer for him. He used Nowaki's shoulders as leverage to prop his feet underneath his thighs and pull himself up into a squatting position. Eyes darkening with unrestrained desire, Nowaki tightly clutched at Hiroki's hips as the brunet slowly began ride him.

"Hiro-san…" he moaned, his nails digging into the supple flesh as Hiroki's tight, seething heat clenched around him in amazing ways. With each downwards thrust, Nowaki could feel Hiroki's entrance constrict, then loosen as he pushed himself back up. The incredible sensation was nearly enough to make Nowaki push the older man off his lap and onto his knees, so he could thoroughly fuck Hiroki into the next century.

He refrained from doing so, however, when Hiroki gently cupped his jaw in one hand and brushed their lips together. It wasn't long before their mouths connected fully and tongues explored the other's mouth, tenderly rolling over one another. As their lips smacked together, the flaming desire within him quickly cooled only to be replaced with the longing to just melt together.

More tears spilled down Hiroki's cheeks when Nowaki slid his large hands up from Hiroki's rocking hips to fully encase the smaller man in his warm, muscular arms and squeeze him. The cozy, familiar feeling of Nowaki completely surrounding him, drowning him with his love, was remarkable. After not experiencing it for more than a year, he had almost forgotten how miraculous it was—to hold someone who wants to hold you back, to kiss them and have them kiss you back with the same intensity and ardor, to completely come undone alongside the person you're absolutely enamored by.

Their love-filled musings were cut short as Hiroki let out a squeaky, high-pitched moan. He jolted and tried to focus his thoughts elsewhere in an attempt to stave off the sudden urge to come for just a little while longer, resisting the temptation to impatiently grind his hips into Nowaki's stomach.

When Hiroki paused momentarily, Nowaki mistook that as his cue to switch positions. Keeping his hold on Hiroki tight, he lay back onto the cold floor and carefully rolled over so he was hovering over Hiroki. The sudden change confused Hiroki for a moment, but when he discovered that the different angle and increased leverage allowed Nowaki to strike his 'special' spot with every well-aimed thrust, and he quickly decided that the switch was more than okay.

With their orgasms rapidly approaching, their previously slow pace began to speed up significantly. Hiroki found himself bucking his hips upward in time with Nowaki's forceful thrusts in order to drive him into Hiroki's recesses as deep as physically possible.

When Hiroki found himself clawing at Nowaki's sweaty shoulders, he had an idea and quickly moved his arms down so he could better access his lover's broad back. Starting at his shoulder blades, Hiroki drug his nails down Nowaki's spine—lightly, but hard enough to leave little pink scratch marks in their wake. Hiroki smiled when he felt the younger man shiver above him, and repeated the process.

It didn't take much more after that. Hiroki's abdomen clenched erratically as his orgasm neared and he decided to take matters into his own hands—literally. He began to pump furiously at his ready-to-burst erection as Nowaki's pace became irregular, then skyrocketed. Arching into the other's warm embrace, they moaned into climax. Nowaki thrust into Hiroki hard one last time to release his seed deep inside him while Hiroki coated their stomachs with thin, creamy ribbons of semen.

Not caring about the mess, Nowaki collapsed on top of Hiroki, pressing loving, appreciative kisses to his cheeks and neck. Tears began leaking from Hiroki's eyes as Nowaki's lips swept across his eyelids.

"I love you so, so, _so_ much," Nowaki whispered, softly brushing his hand through the brunet's hair. Hiroki felt a few foreign tears drip onto his face as Nowaki pressed their foreheads together.

With that gesture, Hiroki proceeded to completely break down once again. "Nowaki…" he croaked, unable to restrain himself from bringing up the topic he'd been contemplating asking for years. "Stay with me. Please, I couldn't stand it if you left me again." He tightened his hold on the younger man's back in an attempt to pull their bodies even closer together. "Move in with me. Please." He buried his face in the dark ebony locks, inhaling his beloved's intoxicating scent.

Gently prying himself away from the older man, Nowaki brought a tender hand up to stroke Hiroki's cheek and coax his watery eyes open.

"Okay," he said simply, eyes creasing as an understanding smile spread across his face. Hiroki thought he was going crazy as he saw tears fall from the corners of Nowaki's eyes. "In that case, let's go _home_, Hiro-san."

**END**

**X X X**

**It's midnight, like a year later, and GAWD I can't believe I actually finished it. But as usual, I'm never completely satisfied with the end result… **

**Anyway, one more prompt to go. My goal when I started this challenge was to finish it by the end of summer vacation 2010…let's see if I can finish it by the end of summer vacation 2011, lol.**

If there are any grammatical or spelling errors I missed, don't be afraid to alert me. I CAN'T STAND THEM, but I can't catch them all myself.


	5. Nothing Ventured is Nothing Gained

"**Nothing Ventured is Nothing Gained"**

**2x5obsessions challenge entry—prompt: "Insomnia".**

**A/N: I know I should've been working on my 'Christmas in America' fic…but when this idea came to me I just got so excited I decided to focus on this for a few days. Plus, my computer randomly updated itself and, _for some reason_, I hadn't saved the original copy of this or Chapter 9 of 'Christmas in America' _at all_. I had a_ lot_ written, too…I actually cried when I realized I lost everything. I also lost quite a lot of work that I'd done on my Egoist wallpaper…I hate computers…**

**_Italics_ primarily indicate that the event happened in the past. Though you probably could've gathered that yourselves.**

**X X X **

Moonlight shone through the window like a dull lamp and cast the bedroom in a dull, ivory glow. Whirlwinds of snow flurries spun around outside as if they were trapped in a large blender, and the apartment walls shook slightly every time a heavy gust blew up against the building. The new, queen-sized mattress remained silent whenever one of the warm bodies lying atop it shifted to a more comfortable position. A thick blue comforter scantily covered their sticky nether regions while a pair of large, sock-clad feet stuck out from the bottom of the blankets. The owner of said feet snored softly as he lay on his back, left arm outstretched and bent at the elbow to serve as a make-shift pillow for its smaller partner, who had remained wide awake.

The night had been wonderful; it was one of their monthly 'date nights', and, as per their deal, Hiroki didn't protest too much as he indulged Nowaki for the night. The doctor had made reservations for them at one of the nicest (and incidentally, one of the most expensive) restaurants in the city, and after dinner they took the long way home, sharing snow-dusted kisses as they laughed through the vacant side-streets of Tokyo.

When they arrived back at the apartment they split a large bowl of strawberries and whipped cream before enjoying a candle-lit bubble bath together, complete with lavender incense and champagne. Needless to say, after Hiroki berated Nowaki for being such a good-for-nothing sap, they retired to the bedroom and made love for hours on end, pausing only to change positions or regain some of their seemingly endless stamina via water or fruit.

It was past 11 o'clock when Hiroki finally insisted that they called it a night, claiming that the younger man had torn his ass up enough to last him a few days. Though his back truly did ache Hiroki would've gladly done it again, but the truth was he knew Nowaki had a long triple shift the following day and that he'd need all the sleep he could get. Hiroki hated to admit that, even if only to himself, he was somewhat jealous of Nowaki's busy schedule and of how often it kept the pediatrician away from him. It was something Hiroki had grown increasingly used to over the years but that didn't make it any easier to for him cope with.

Hiroki craned his neck back as far as he could manage so he could have the full view of Nowaki's slumbering face, trailing long fingers down the younger man's neck. He gazed at the peaceful doctor for a long time before sighing and tucking back a dark, stray bang that had fallen out of place. As he laid his head back on Nowaki's broad shoulder, Hiroki thought about how he couldn't say anything about the younger man being at the hospital so much because Nowaki was doing what he loved, and he never wanted to be the one to come between Nowaki and his career. Especially since he knew Nowaki would never do the same to him….

Disappointment flooded Hiroki's body and in an attempt to distract himself, he began outlining the quiz he'd be giving the following week to his freshman class, but thinking about school incidentally reminded him of the adorable Pomeranian puppy he'd seen on his way home from work earlier that day. It was like a tan, fluffy ball of energy that looked exactly like one of the dogs Nowaki had pointed out as his favorite at the pet shop….

"_You know we can't have it."_

_Nowaki was silent for a moment as he gazed into the penetrating depths of Hiroki's eyes. "I know," Nowaki whispered, frowning. Reluctantly, he placed the tiny fluff-ball back in its plastic cubical beside her snoozing brother. As the two turned to leave the puppy climbed up against the wall and began yelping excitedly, shattering Nowaki's heart as he walked out the door._

_The two had walked in silence for the better part of three blocks; Nowaki staring sullenly at the ground and Hiroki trying to ignore his partner's obviously depressive state. It wasn't long until Hiroki decided that he couldn't take it anymore; he reached out, tucking his left arm underneath Nowaki's right and looking up at him. At the younger man's confused expression, he spoke._

"_When our lease is up…" Hiroki coughed, trying to will away the blush that had quickly dusted his cheeks, "…we can…we can move to a new place, one that allows pets. Okay?"_

_Hiroki hadn't been anticipating the bone-crushing kiss that ensued, nor did he expect for Nowaki to break into a dead-sprint the moment they parted. _

"_Hiro-san, I love you."_

_As they ran home, Hiroki thought about how he'd never been much of a dog-person; but at the overwhelmed expression of happiness reflected in Nowaki's face, he knew he would never regret his decision._

A smile tugged at the corners of Hiroki's mouth as he ran his cool hand over Nowaki's chest, relishing the feel of the warm, powerful muscles beneath his palm. While they hadn't found a place yet, their lease wasn't up until late April so they still had several more months to look around.

In fact, it was just earlier that week that Hiroki had been browsing through the newspaper listings and saw that Nowaki's old apartment needed to be sublet. While it was obviously too small for the couple, especially now, Hiroki wondered if it were still possible for them to tour it briefly during one of the open houses. The older man held nothing but fond memories of the place; loving, laughing, playing; and despite it being smaller than a matchbox, when they were still living separately, the professor had always harbored a secret desire to stay the night at Nowaki's place as opposed to his. It didn't have central heating, but sometimes it was nice to have to huddle together beneath a mountain of blankets on Nowaki's tiny futon; it humbled him and though he put up a fight about it, Hiroki truly didn't mind indulging Nowaki in the 'alternative heating source'.

Out of the many nights Hiroki weathered there, he could remember one in particular clearer than day. It'd been one of the very first times Hiroki had ever stayed over and a heavy snowstorm had put a damper on their plans to see a movie, so they were stuck in Nowaki's house with very little to do. (Of course, Nowaki had offered a long list of 'things' for them to do and while Hiroki didn't mind doing them he insisted that, due to an important presentation he had the following the morning, they avoid doing the penetrative 'things'.) But after only one round Hiroki insisted that he was too hungry to continue so they made a large batch of American-style cupcakes and played Scrabble until the sun went down.

Once they'd broken their tie (Nowaki 2, Hiroki 1; effectively sending the older man on a tangent about how stupid brats cheated at board games), they watched one of Hiroki's favorite movies that happened to be playing on TV. As the older man had sat between Nowaki's long legs, their fingers absentmindedly twining and rubbing the others', Hiroki could only think of how nice it was that they'd already become so comfortable around each other. That after only six months of dating, the two of them could just sit around in their pajamas, playing games and have just as much fun as performing sexual favors for each other all day.

Later that night, long after the movie had ended, Hiroki expressed his extreme boredom of the medical drama they'd begun watching, and the younger man began throwing out random games for them to play. When the idea of 'Truth or Dare' was thrown up, Nowaki got very excited whereas Hiroki regarded him with a look of disgust….

"_We're not middle school girls," Hiroki grumbled, wiggling out of the giant's iron grip. He stalked over to the fridge and threw the door open._

"_Oh, but it's so much fun! We used to play it at the orphanage all the time."  
_

_At the mention of 'orphanage', Hiroki stopped cold in his tracks. While the older man had about Nowaki's humble beginnings from day one, it didn't make it any easier for him to stomach. _

"_Fine, whatever," Hiroki sighed, trying to sound breezy as he grabbed two bottles of water from the bottom drawer. _

To this day, Hiroki cannot recall him and Nowaki ever having so much fun with all of their clothes on. They revealed truths and conducted humiliating dares into the early morning hours, eventually crashing together around 4 in the morning. The two told each other _everything_—their firsts and favorites, likes and dislikes, embarrassing encounters and hilarious misdemeanors. While the dares were few and far between, the two men were quite mischievous in their choices; in fact, at one point, Hiroki dared Nowaki to dye part of his hair red. Obviously, because the younger man didn't keep spare bottles of hair color lying around, they weren't able to do it that night; but, by the next time Hiroki saw him, Nowaki had streaked his bangs flaming red. Nothing extraordinary had really happened that day but Hiroki could still remember it crystal clear, because it was the first time he realized he could truly trust the other man with anything.

Recalling the earlier days of their relationship further reminded Hiroki of how different Nowaki had looked as an adolescent. When they'd met Nowaki had been nothing more than a young, determined boy with warm hands and smiling eyes. The teenage Nowaki had been tall and lanky, not to mention incredibly clumsy due to his body growing faster than he was able to adapt to. In addition, he was deceivingly weak for his towering height due to being borderline underweight. While Hiroki had always loved Nowaki's body just as it was, time had very different plans.

While Nowaki had always been exceptionally tall, by the time he was 20 the younger man had grown another 4 centimeters, and when he'd returned from America, he had somehow managed to shoot up another 3. He'd finally stopped growing around his 25th birthday, leaving him at a staggering 193 centimeters, more than 20 taller than the national average.

In addition to growing upwards, with his rigorous job at the construction site, it didn't take long for Nowaki to grow in diameter as well. His skinny stomach slowly began to define, replacing his formerly rib-barren belly with a delicious set of firm abs, while his arms and shoulders gradually broadened with a sexy mass of newly-formed muscle. When they first got together it was a struggle for Nowaki to carry Hiroki all the way to the bedroom, but now, he was able to hold the older man up for extended periods of time without so much as breaking a sweat (if he excluded the activity that Nowaki was holding him up for).

At one point, the man's height and muscle mass exceeded the healthy point of Nowaki remaining at a constant weight, creating a deep concern within Hiroki.

"_Nowaki, you've barely touched your rice."_

_Glancing in his direction, Nowaki nodded, placing his chopsticks off to the side. "I had a big lunch, so I'm really not that hungry…I'll probably just save it for later."_

"_I wish you'd just eat it…" Hiroki murmured, uneasy. When the younger man remained silent, Hiroki hesitantly continued, "How much do you weight, anyway?"_

_Slightly caught off guard by the obscure question, Nowaki tilted his head to the side and thought about it. "Well, um, I think the last time I weighted myself was a couple weeks ago, and I was about 70 kilograms."_

"_Nowaki, that's what I weight, and I'm 10 centimeters shorter than you! Seriously, you've _got_ to eat more. I'm…" Hiroki cast his eyes downwards as he picked up his rice bowl and obscured his mouth with it. "…really worried about you," he whispered, immediately following his meaningful words with a shovel-full of rice._

_At this information, Nowaki's eyes widened. "Hiro-san…" Nowaki shuffled away from the table and crawled over, sitting behind the younger man and hugging him. _

"_Would you get off me? I'm busy eating here," Hiroki grumbled, though it was hard for him to deny that the embrace felt nice._

_The younger man hooked his shaggy head over Hiroki's left shoulder, kissing his cheek. "You're worried about me."_

"_I am not! If you don't eat right, you'll get…worms."_

"_That's from eating raw foods, Hiro-san."_

"_Well, whatever. You'll get sick."_

"_And you don't want me to get sick, because you care about me!" Hiroki was momentarily glad Nowaki wasn't facing him, because his entire face immediately took on the color of a ripe tomato. "Just admit it, you care about me!"_

"_I don't! You're…just a much better cook than I am. If you got sick, I'd probably starve."_

"_Hiro-san cares about me…" Smiling widely, Nowaki grabbed Hiroki's chin and turned it towards him, kissing Hiroki tenderly. When they parted, Hiroki dared not open his eyes, for fear of losing all the reserve he'd just built._

"_Well, if you want me to gain weight…" Nowaki whispered, continuing to longingly gaze at Hiroki's deliciously parted lips as he grabbed the chopsticks and placed them in Hiroki's hand, "…you'll have to make me."_

In the weeks that followed, Nowaki's stomach and face gradually began to fill with healthy pounds that were brought on by Hiroki's fleeting comment. Nearly three months after their discussion, Nowaki proudly announced to Hiroki that he weighed 79 kilograms, a perfect weight for his incredible height. Hiroki was happy that such a minor observation made by him had such an effect on Nowaki, further proving that the younger man would do anything as long as he was happy.

Suddenly, a loud snore from pulled Hiroki back into the present, causing him to roll his eyes at the younger man's sleeping form. Nowaki only snored when he was forced to lie on his back, and though Hiroki could easily turn the man over and end the torturous noise, he refrained from doing so, instead opting to smooth a fond hand down the man's chiseled abdomen. A smile cross Hiroki's lips as he let his fingers dance over the blotchy pink-and-blue marks located near the unique dip where Nowaki's torso met his groin. As he fingered the small hickeys, Hiroki thought about how adorable the young doctor was whenever Hiroki was attending to him; that was one thing that had never changed over time.

His cheeks flushed, mouth agape as heavy pants fell through soft lips, head falling backwards to expose his deliciously bitable throat, large hands desperately pulling Hiroki's hair, long legs twitching uncontrollably as his narrow hips fought not to thrust upwards. One of Hiroki's secret pleasures was to see Nowaki his vulnerable state, especially since the younger man always managed to have a mask of carefully-arranged composure in everything he did. Being the only one allowed to see Nowaki this way, the only one able to make him come completely undone with just a few deft swipes of his mouth caused a noticeable swell in the older man's pride.

So much so, that one night, nearly a year into their relationship, Hiroki was feeling so bold following his oral ministrations that he brought up the idea of Nowaki bottoming, since he'd never done so before; and because the younger man was still incredibly disoriented from the mind-blowing sensations brought on by Hiroki's mouth, it didn't take very much persuasion on his part to get Nowaki to agree. When they began it was awkward and somewhat clumsy since neither of them were as accustomed to being in the other's position, but after a while, they allowed themselves to succumb to the pleasure. Just being able to have Nowaki beneath him, trembling and breathless and in submission; was a novel feeling because despite being older, Hiroki had always been the one to surrender and be overwhelmed in the heat of the moment, and it felt nice to be in charge for once.

Nowaki began to shift suddenly, startling Hiroki nearly to the point of gasping. The pillowing arm slid out from beneath his tousled head, causing Hiroki to roll on his back and allow the younger man room to move. A stray hand reached out and grabbed Hiroki's hip, trying to pull its unconscious owner towards a confused Hiroki. Hiroki lifted an arm and the young doctor quickly went to work in making a nest of the bony clavicle. Even through the realms of unconsciousness, Nowaki had managed to skillfully reposition himself so that he was now the one being held. Hiroki briefly wondered how often the two of them managed to sink into this position late at night.

Hesitantly, Hiroki brought his left hand over and gently placed it on Nowaki's dark head, allowing the warm hair to settle between his fingers. As he kindly began to stroke the raven scalp, Hiroki smiled and thought about how, Nowaki could easily have two halves; one that was controlling, powerful and even somewhat masochist, and one that was kind, gentle and always treated Hiroki as if he were a priceless gem. Hiroki had long since decided that he loved both equally, but in vastly different ways.

The dominating side of Nowaki was very seldom displayed, reserved mostly for playful role-play or after the occasional jealous spat. Typically, Hiroki hated to think of himself as the submissive one of their relationship, but every once in a while (and only then), he thought it was nice to be wrestled onto the bed and have the shirt literally torn from his body, to have Nowaki force him into doing things and to be 'punished' for his 'misdeeds'. The buttons skipping across the floor merely served as a prelude to the subsequent opus of moans, grunts, fleshy smacks and creaking bed springs. Of course, none of that came without a carefully measured amount of resistance from Hiroki, though Nowaki had long since been able to understand which 'no' actually meant 'stop' and which 'no' really meant 'do me harder'. It was fun to be able to play with each other like that and since they had established one another as equals, Hiroki never felt degraded by Nowaki's aggressive words, nor did Nowaki feel unnecessarily superior because he was the one momentarily in charge. (Besides, there had long since been an unspoken understanding between the two that, in their relationship, one person was in charge and the other person was Nowaki.)

Of course, on the on the opposite end of the spectrum, was the incredibly kind Nowaki that always treated Hiroki better than he ever felt he deserved. It was like the giant handling a delicate flower (or something equally fragile with a more masculine symbolism). The gentler side of Nowaki been the one to present itself that night as it usually did after their fluffier date-nights, not that Hiroki was complaining. Having someone to treat him that tenderly was like a wonderful dream, and sometimes after their more intense love-making sessions Hiroki had to pinch himself just in case it actually was. Even after all this time, Hiroki still so overwhelmed when Nowaki would regard him with that innocent, genuine, love-filled smile that was reserved for Hiroki alone. Hiroki's favorite thing, however, was when they would be in the middle of sex; Nowaki would stop, grab Hiroki's hand and weave their fingers together, squeezing them to silently telling Hiroki to open his eyes. After exchanging a long moment of unspoken understanding, Nowaki would lean down and gently press their mouths together, moving his lips so slowly and tenderly that Hiroki often had to fight the urge to cry because he was overcome by the sheer amount of love and devotion Nowaki always managed to convey in such a fleeting touch.

Heat pooled in Hiroki's groin at the fond memory and in an attempt to combat the slowly growing erection, he tried to focus his thoughts on the things he hated—like women in risqué clothing, doing Miyagi's paperwork, and watching baseball. God, how he despised that sport; he had no idea how Nowaki could stand to watch it as often as he did. It was _so __**unbelievably**__ boring_! Watching dozens of steroid jacked-men swing and miss at a tiny white ball for hours wasn't exactly Hiroki's idea of a fun afternoon, but Nowaki enjoyed it, so Hiroki decided he was able relinquish control of the remote for a few hours, if it made Nowaki happy. Besides, what made the game slightly more interesting was Nowaki's seemingly endless knowledge of the sport….

"_There sure are a lot of left-handed guys in baseball," Hiroki commented as the 4th lefty hitter in a row stepped up to bat. _

"_Actually, a lot of these guys train themselves to be 'switch-hitters', which just means that they can bat well with both hands."_

"_Why?"_

"_Well, statistically speaking, it's easier to hit off a pitch that's thrown by the opposite hand. The majority of these guys are probably right-handed by nature."_

_Hiroki's head cocked to the side. "Huh? Seriously?" Turning slightly to his left, Hiroki tried to imagine he was holding a bat and attempted to swing left-handed, but shook his head when he felt it was too awkward to pursue. "That sounds really hard."_

"_It probably is at first." Nowaki shrugged. "But actually, I've always batted left-handed…I'm not sure why."_

"_That's strange. Are you ambidextrous?"_

"_I'm not sure, but a number of people have commented that I shoot pool and play basketball left-handed. I never realized it until they said it because it was always natural for me to do it that way."_

"_Can you write with your left hand?"_

_Nowaki thought about it, then shrugged again. "…Yeah, I guess."_

"_Will you show me?"_

_Not finding a reason not to, Nowaki popped up and strolled into the kitchen, scouring the drawers for a writing utensil and scrap of paper. After three tries he finally found a functioning pen and rejoined Hiroki in the living room, kneeling before the coffee table so he could write down his name and their address in his dominant right hand. _

_A few seconds later Nowaki finished and quickly switched the pen over, naturally tilting the paper at a 45 degree angle so he could have a better view of his hand scribing the character. Despite writing practically in reverse, Nowaki didn't appear to be any less comfortable writing with his left than he did with his right. _

"_That's so weird," Hiroki breathed as he watched Nowaki finish his final stroke, amazed at how neat and similar the names were despite being scribed with a different hand. _

"_You do it," Nowaki insisted, scooting the paper in front of Hiroki._

"_No way." _

"_Oh, just try." Nowaki reached across and gently poked at Hiroki's arm with the blunt end of the pen._

"_No, I'm not all cool and mysterious like you, Mr. ambidextrous. If I try it I'll look like a two-year-old holding a pencil for the first time."_

"_Come on, please?"_

_Hiroki glared Nowaki for a moment before sliding onto the ground and leaning over the coffee table. After carefully scripting his name Hiroki hesitantly switched hands, trying to find a comfortable position for the pen to rest at. The implement felt incredibly awkward in his untrained left hand as the professor slowly began to write out his family name. While the first one had come out nearly perfect, on the fourth stroke of his 'jo' kanji the felt tip slipped between his fingers and effectively ruined the entire character. Frustrated, Hiroki clumsily drew a line through his name and started over, this time strictly using hiragana. Though it should've taken him only a few seconds to write the remainder of his name out Hiroki was fighting to make the characters perfect, so it ended up taking him more than half a minute. _

"…_It's not as good as yours," Hiroki admitted as he leaned back and hesitantly handed the paper to Nowaki. Despite his attempt at precision the characters were sloppy and blocky, but legible._

"_Well…I can still read it," Nowaki commented as he compared the two names._

"_But I had to write it in hiragana because my kanji is too intricate."_

"_Oh come on, you have, like, the some of the easiest characters."_

"_Nah-uh, they're more detailed than yours, which are mostly just lines," Hiroki defended._

"_Whatever you say," Nowaki sighed as he drew a perfect smilie face in his left hand. "Wow, guess I can write well with both hands…"_

_Hiroki rolled his eyes when a beaming Nowaki presented the drawing to him. "You're a…freak!"_

_Nowaki smiled wider and playfully chucked the stationary at Hiroki, laughing. "Shut up, I'm not a freak! There are lots of people who can do things equally with both hands."_

"_True ambidexterity is really rare, though. Lots of people can train themselves to do something better with one hand—like those baseball guys!—but that isn't the same…freak!"_

"_I'm not a freak!"_

"_Okay, name _one_ other person who can do things with both hands."_

"_Well…um…" Nowaki stopped for a moment to think. "That tennis star—Rafael Nadal, I believe it's pronounced—he writes right-handed but plays tennis with his left."_

"_That doesn't mean he's ambidextrous, he could've just been trained to play that way."_

"…_umm…Rocky Balboa! He always did the southpaw stance!"_

"_Rocky Balboa isn't even real!"_

"…_Well, either way, being cross-dominant isn't totally unheard of, especially in professional sports. Oh! There was some Russian tennis player who did two forehands as opposed to one fore and one back."_

_Hiroki stared at into Nowaki's eyes for a moment, once again amazed at how intelligent the man truly was. "…yeah, okay, fine." The older man pushed himself up off of the floor and onto the couch, fighting to keep the blush off his cheeks. "You win this round." _

_Still smiling, Nowaki exaggerated a loud grunt as he pulled himself up and placed himself back on the other chair, comfortably sprawling out on his back as he continued to watch the game with deep interest._

A sudden touch by the younger man's wandering hand tickled Hiroki's belly, breaking the professor of his reverie with a breathy laugh. When he was certain Nowaki was still asleep Hiroki gently pushed his body upwards and glanced over at the clock, russet eyes widening in amazement; without even realizing it, he had managed to spend the better part of an hour contemplating all the different aspects of Nowaki.

Smiling, Hiroki tipped his chin downwards, burying his nose into Nowaki's dark hair to breathe in the musty, spicy scent of his shampoo. While their relationship would never be perfect, Hiroki was unable to even consider the idea of being with anyone else. To be Nowaki's best friend was one thing, but being able to proudly call the younger man his partner was more than Hiroki could've ever asked for. Just Nowaki—that's all he'd ever need, ever again.

Buoyed by this feeling, Hiroki's smile widened while his eyes slowly slid shut as he allowed his partner's warmth to carry him into the wonderful world of bliss-filled dreams.

**END**

**X X X**

**The average height in Japan is 5'7 ½" (170 centimeters). Nowaki mentions in the first act that he's 186 centimeters (6'1"), but as the stories progress Hiroki is always talking about how Nowaki keeps getting taller…so I'm making an assumption that he's now about 193 centimeters (6'4"). And based on the fan-art I've seen, everyone seems to blindly assume Hiroki is short like the rest of the ukes, but if you really pay attention, he's almost exactly the same height as Miyagi and Akihiko, with the exception of an inch or two. If the other two ukes are of average height and their semes tower over them, then they must be somewhat taller than average. So, I'm going to assume that Hiroki is about 5'10 ½" (179 centimeters). Besides, Nowaki never exactly makes him look tiny by comparison…why is it that I give these types of things so much thought? **

**70kg = ~155lbs. 79kg = ~175lb. I hate that America has its own form of measurement! Why can't we just be like the rest of the world? **

**Also, how did I manage to make a fic that was solely Hiroki's thoughts of Nowaki more than 4,000 words long? (I was thinking about doing a second part, the following morning, with Nowaki's thoughts of Hiroki while he sleeps. If I get enough feedback, I will, though it may be a while given that I really need to finish my Christmas fic first.)**

**If I made any errors, let me know, so I can fix them. I hate errors! **Fixed most of them...multiple...so many _embarrassing_ errors I missed...**


End file.
